Joe left about two hours ago to go back to Iowa. I used to cry every single time he went home because I was a little less mature and my mind concluded that I would never see him again even though I know I would. I got better and for the last few visits I was fine and didn't cry but for some reason this trip I was overwhelmed with my love for him so it was even harder to let him go.
I was surprised by my own feelings this weekend. When he first got here I almost couldn't believe he was here. I eventually adjusted and gradually felt my love grow for him more and more during the visit.
We had a very fun visit. The first day we just relaxed and had a fight but we cooled down and got ready for our movie date. We went to see Les Miserables and of course it was amazing. Joe seemed to really like it and I was relieved that he didn't think it was too girly.
The next day Joe and I got to babysit. Unfortunately we only got to see Ellie for about 15 minutes because her mom put her down for a nap. But the small amount of time I had I really embraced. I love Ellie so much, I love being around small children. I almost feel a sort of a sadness when it has been a long time since I've seen a small child. We ended up just sitting in the basement watching "Say Yes to the Dress" and then went outside to play with the puppies, which Joe really fell in love with. There were two and they were Cairn terriers. I think Joe loved them so much because they were trained really well. Here's a pic of what they look like:
Joe brought his newest game entitled, "Zombicide" it was very interesting. I got extremely frustrated at first because I didn't understand what was going on but I finally figured it out and once I did, it was very fun.
We went to Steak and Shake on the way to the Kansas City Zoo. We got there later than we went to because we spent so much time eating but we finally got there and once we did we were very impressed. By 3:30 pm we thought it was really awesome and enjoyed it. And then we realized we had only seen Australia and Africa and we still had half the zoo to see. But it would have taken us almost two more hours and the zoo was closing at 4. We were a little irresponsible and we went towards the rest of the park anyway. Unfortunately they had already put away the animals of that section. So we walked all the way back to the entrance. We want to go back another time during warmer months when we can have all day to go.
At 4:30 we went to the movies in The Plaza in Kansas City, Missouri to see Silver Linings Playbook. It was an amazing movie. Jennifer Lawrence was incredible and I never realized how unbelievable her character was portrayed in The Hunger Games until I saw how amazing and believable her character in Silver Linings Playbook was. She was such a great actress! We weren't hungry after the movie was over so we decided to see another movie. Both of us had little background of the movie, but Joe remembered I mentioned "The Impossible" and it was a grand mistake.
Fun Fact about me: I have an extreme blood phobia.
I knew it was about a tsunami but I pictured more of an indie movie take on it but it was a gruesome disaster take on it. SPOILER ALERT, the ladies leg gets cut open and its really deep and half of the back of her thigh literally hangs off her body... It was delightful. So we ended up leaving because I couldn't take it anymore. Joe paid for the movie but thankfully got a refund for the ticket. So we decided to just go eat anyways because we didn't want to just sit around for no reason.
I researched restaurants in the Plaza and online Kona grill was described as affordable and twists on American foods. This could not be farther from the truth. We went into the restaurant and it was super fancy, dim lit, the prices were outrageous and there were about 5 things per section and that was it. It was quite a disappointment.
We told the waitress we were leaving and we went to the California Pizza Kitchen instead. I didn't want to go there because I had been there before but I knew they had a good variety, not just pizza and I saw California Club sandwich on the menu outside the door and I was instantly drawn in. Our waiter was one of the nicest waiter I've had and I was really happy about that because its rare to meet truly nice people nowadays and I love when I come in contact with them. They give me actual hope for our humanity. Joe and I had a great dinner and I only ended up finishing half of my sandwich and wanted to take the rest home but it was a two hour drive back to my house and I didn't know if it would make it back without spoiling. I ended up taking it home but I have yet to eat it because I'm worried about it.
Overall the visit was amazing and I was so happy to see him. I surprised myself by how much love I had for him because of this visit. I really have this desire to just marry Joe and live with him and carry on with life. I am overwhelmed with life back in my mom's house and I passionately want to move out and be forced into an independent lifestyle.
The quote,
Sometimes God doesn't change your circumstances because he is trying to change your heart.
has really been ringing in my ears lately and I think it might be a sign from God that I really do need to work on changing my heart. Currently I have a hard heart towards my mom and I just want to be away with her and be independent. I want a car and a job and I want to be able to have a clean house and not have to basically take care of her and clean up after her constantly. I've realized that this is obviously not going to be my life and I don't know why but I know its not going to happen right now and I need to realize that and embrace what is actually going on in my life.
One thing that has really been bugging me is the lack of God in my every day life. I know I want Him in my life and I remember how passionately happy I was during DCC and how drastic my mood has declined. It is so unfortunate and I want that happiness and passion back in my life. I am going to try to work on this and try to recharge my spiritual life.
One day I will have a life I am completely happy with my life, and maybe that's just a change in my perspective but I will eventually be content and I am looking forward to my future and my growth in my present.
I was surprised by my own feelings this weekend. When he first got here I almost couldn't believe he was here. I eventually adjusted and gradually felt my love grow for him more and more during the visit.
We had a very fun visit. The first day we just relaxed and had a fight but we cooled down and got ready for our movie date. We went to see Les Miserables and of course it was amazing. Joe seemed to really like it and I was relieved that he didn't think it was too girly.
The next day Joe and I got to babysit. Unfortunately we only got to see Ellie for about 15 minutes because her mom put her down for a nap. But the small amount of time I had I really embraced. I love Ellie so much, I love being around small children. I almost feel a sort of a sadness when it has been a long time since I've seen a small child. We ended up just sitting in the basement watching "Say Yes to the Dress" and then went outside to play with the puppies, which Joe really fell in love with. There were two and they were Cairn terriers. I think Joe loved them so much because they were trained really well. Here's a pic of what they look like:
Joe brought his newest game entitled, "Zombicide" it was very interesting. I got extremely frustrated at first because I didn't understand what was going on but I finally figured it out and once I did, it was very fun.
We went to Steak and Shake on the way to the Kansas City Zoo. We got there later than we went to because we spent so much time eating but we finally got there and once we did we were very impressed. By 3:30 pm we thought it was really awesome and enjoyed it. And then we realized we had only seen Australia and Africa and we still had half the zoo to see. But it would have taken us almost two more hours and the zoo was closing at 4. We were a little irresponsible and we went towards the rest of the park anyway. Unfortunately they had already put away the animals of that section. So we walked all the way back to the entrance. We want to go back another time during warmer months when we can have all day to go.
At 4:30 we went to the movies in The Plaza in Kansas City, Missouri to see Silver Linings Playbook. It was an amazing movie. Jennifer Lawrence was incredible and I never realized how unbelievable her character was portrayed in The Hunger Games until I saw how amazing and believable her character in Silver Linings Playbook was. She was such a great actress! We weren't hungry after the movie was over so we decided to see another movie. Both of us had little background of the movie, but Joe remembered I mentioned "The Impossible" and it was a grand mistake.
Fun Fact about me: I have an extreme blood phobia.
I knew it was about a tsunami but I pictured more of an indie movie take on it but it was a gruesome disaster take on it. SPOILER ALERT, the ladies leg gets cut open and its really deep and half of the back of her thigh literally hangs off her body... It was delightful. So we ended up leaving because I couldn't take it anymore. Joe paid for the movie but thankfully got a refund for the ticket. So we decided to just go eat anyways because we didn't want to just sit around for no reason.
I researched restaurants in the Plaza and online Kona grill was described as affordable and twists on American foods. This could not be farther from the truth. We went into the restaurant and it was super fancy, dim lit, the prices were outrageous and there were about 5 things per section and that was it. It was quite a disappointment.
We told the waitress we were leaving and we went to the California Pizza Kitchen instead. I didn't want to go there because I had been there before but I knew they had a good variety, not just pizza and I saw California Club sandwich on the menu outside the door and I was instantly drawn in. Our waiter was one of the nicest waiter I've had and I was really happy about that because its rare to meet truly nice people nowadays and I love when I come in contact with them. They give me actual hope for our humanity. Joe and I had a great dinner and I only ended up finishing half of my sandwich and wanted to take the rest home but it was a two hour drive back to my house and I didn't know if it would make it back without spoiling. I ended up taking it home but I have yet to eat it because I'm worried about it.
Overall the visit was amazing and I was so happy to see him. I surprised myself by how much love I had for him because of this visit. I really have this desire to just marry Joe and live with him and carry on with life. I am overwhelmed with life back in my mom's house and I passionately want to move out and be forced into an independent lifestyle.
The quote,
Sometimes God doesn't change your circumstances because he is trying to change your heart.
has really been ringing in my ears lately and I think it might be a sign from God that I really do need to work on changing my heart. Currently I have a hard heart towards my mom and I just want to be away with her and be independent. I want a car and a job and I want to be able to have a clean house and not have to basically take care of her and clean up after her constantly. I've realized that this is obviously not going to be my life and I don't know why but I know its not going to happen right now and I need to realize that and embrace what is actually going on in my life.
One thing that has really been bugging me is the lack of God in my every day life. I know I want Him in my life and I remember how passionately happy I was during DCC and how drastic my mood has declined. It is so unfortunate and I want that happiness and passion back in my life. I am going to try to work on this and try to recharge my spiritual life.
One day I will have a life I am completely happy with my life, and maybe that's just a change in my perspective but I will eventually be content and I am looking forward to my future and my growth in my present.